‫- PREVIOUSLY ON AWKWARD...
‫- SO YOU DIDN'T D.T.R.? ‫- WE'RE SENIORS.
‫WE DON'T NEED ‫TO D.T. ANYTHING.
‫WE HAD FUN, ‫AND I'M NOT GONNA OVERTHINK IT.
‫- I WANT TO BREAK UP.
‫- DO YOU REALLY WANT TO BE ‫SINGLE IN SENIOR YEAR?
‫- I'M SORRY TO BOTHER YOU,
‫BUT I KNOW ‫YOU'VE BEEN AVOIDING ME,
‫AND I'M JUST WONDERING WHY. ‫- I'M ADOPTED.
‫- AFTER MATTY DROPPED THE BOMB ‫THAT HIS FAMILY WASN'T NUCLEAR,
‫I KNEW IT WAS TIME TO ADOPT
‫A NEW ATTITUDE ‫TOWARDS OUR RELATIONSHIP.
‫I HAD SPENT ALL THAT TIME
‫WORRYING MATTY ‫WAS SHUTTING ME OUT.
‫BUT HE ACTUALLY ENDED UP ‫LETTING ME IN...
‫ON THE FACT ‫THAT HE WAS ADOPTED,
‫AND HIS PARENTS ‫HAD NEVER BOTHERED TO TELL HIM.
‫REALITY CHECK FOR JENNA--
‫TIME TO STOP MAKING ‫EVERYTHING ABOUT ME.
‫VAL!
‫I'M REALLY EXCITED ‫FOR THE PEER-MENTORING PROGRAM.
‫- ME TOO.
‫WITH YOU GIRLS SHOULDERING ‫SOME OF MY COUNSELING BURDEN,
‫I'LL HAVE ‫TWO AFTERNOONS A WEEK FREE
‫FOR SOME MUCH-NEEDED ‫ALONE TIME.
‫OH, LOOK, THERE'S ‫YOUR MENTEE NOW--PRUDENCE.
‫- SHE REMINDED ME OF ME--
‫A LOST LAMB HEADED FOR THE ‫SLAUGHTER THAT IS HIGH SCHOOL.
‫I DECIDED ‫I WOULD BE THERE FOR HER,
‫THE WAY I WISHED ‫SOMEONE HAD BEEN THERE FOR ME--
‫WELL, SOMEONE SANE.
‫I WOULD LISTEN TO HER. ‫I WOULD SUPPORT HER.
‫AND I WOULD KEEP HER ‫OUT OF HARM'S WAY.
‫OH, MY GOD. ‫I'M JENNA.
‫ARE YOU OKAY, PRUDENCE?
‫THE LAST PERSON THAT CALLED ME ‫THAT GOT THROAT-PUNCHED.
‫[hard rock music]
‫- OH, ARE YOU-- ‫- CALL ME ANGEL.
‫- [clears throat]
‫- HAVE YOU HEARD ANYTHING ‫GOING AROUND
‫ABOUT JAKE DUMPING ME?
‫IT IS ALL ABOUT ‫WHO CONTROLS THE STORY.
‫JAKE BETTER NOT ‫MAKE UP ANYTHING
‫ABOUT OUR BREAKUP ‫THAT ISN'T TRUE.
‫I DID NOT GET DUMPED. ‫I KNEW THE ENDING WAS PENDING.
‫- DO YOU EVER THINK THAT MAYBE ‫WE SPEND A LITTLE TOO MUCH TIME
‫WONDERING ABOUT WHAT JAKE ‫AND MATTY ARE THINKING?
‫- UH, NO. ‫- OKAY.
‫99% OF THE TIME IT'S PROBABLY ‫NOT ABOUT US AT ALL.
‫- WHO ARE YOU,
‫AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE ‫WITH "I AM JENNA HAMILTON"?
‫HELLO, JACOB.
‫- HELLO, LADIES. ‫TAKE IT EASY.
‫- "TAKE IT EASY"?
‫WHAT IS THE SUBTEXT ‫IN THAT CONTEXT--
‫THAT I'M TAKING IT HARD?
‫- MAYBE HE MEANT ‫TAKE IT EASY.
‫HE WANTS TO BE YOUR FRIEND. ‫- WE JUST BROKE UP, JENNA.
‫YOU CAN'T JUST TRANSITION ‫FROM B.F. TO B.F.F.
‫WITHOUT SOME "D" ‫IN BETWEEN.
‫- "D"? ‫- DRAMA.
‫- OKAY. ‫MAYBE YOU CAN.
‫WE'RE SENIORS. ‫WE'RE ADULTS NOW.
‫ENDING THE RELATIONSHIP
‫DOESN'T HAVE TO MEAN ‫ENDING THE FRIENDSHIP.
‫I MEAN, ‫LOOK AT MATTY AND I.
‫IN A LOT OF WAYS, ‫WE'RE CLOSER THAN EVER.
‫- BECAUSE YOU HAD EX SEX? ‫THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE CLOSE.
‫THAT JUST MEANS ‫YOUR NAUGHTIES ARE.
‫- NO, BECAUSE WE SHARE THINGS ‫WITH EACH OTHER
‫THAT WE WOULDN'T SHARE ‫WITH JUST ANYONE,
‫SORT OF LIKE ‫EMOTIONAL INTIMACY.
‫- OKAY, ‫WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?
‫ARE YOU GUYS DATING ‫OR MERELY MATING?
‫- I DON'T KNOW. ‫- [sighs]
‫WELL, YOU BETTER ‫FIGURE IT OUT NOW,
‫BECAUSE I AM OFFICIALLY ‫NOT SPENDING MY SENIOR YEAR
‫STARING AT ‫YOUR "AM I IN OR AM I OUT" POUT.
‫- SHE HAD A POINT.
‫IN THE PAST, MATTY HAD BEEN ‫A GIANT, FLAKY SLICE
‫IN MY PIE CHART ‫OF PREOCCUPATIONS.
‫BUT THINGS ‫WERE DIFFERENT NOW.
‫HEY. ‫HOW ARE YOU?
‫- I'M FINE.
‫- HAVE YOU SPOKEN ‫TO YOUR PARENTS YET?
‫- NO, AND I DON'T REALLY WANT ‫TO TALK ABOUT THAT AT SCHOOL,
‫OR AT ALL, REALLY. ‫- I GET IT.
‫LISTEN, ‫I KNOW THIS SOUNDS STUPID,
‫BUT I WAS WORRYING ‫FOR, LIKE, A WHOLE DAY
‫THAT YOU REGRETTED ‫HOOKING UP WITH ME.
‫- JENNA, I NEED TO BE ABLE ‫TO NOT TALK TO YOU FOR ONE DAY
‫AND NOT HAVE YOU ASSUME ‫I'M NOT INTO YOU.
‫- I-I KNOW. ‫I SAID IT WAS STUPID.
‫- I'M INTO YOU.
‫- I'M INTO YOU TOO.
‫AND I JUST THOUGHT ‫THAT IF WE'D SAID IT
‫THAT NEITHER ONE OF US WOULD ‫HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT WHAT WE ARE.
‫- OKAY.
‫WHAT ARE WE?
‫- WE ARE TWO CONSENTING ADULTS
‫WHO CARE ‫ABOUT EACH OTHER DEEPLY
‫AND ENJOY EXPRESSING ‫THAT CARE PHYSICALLY...
‫FROM TIME TO TIME.
‫FRIENDS...
‫- WITH BENEFITS.
‫- I WASN'T AWARE ‫THAT WAS WHAT I WAS PROPOSING.
‫BUT IF THAT'S WHAT IT MEANT ‫TO BE CLOSE,
‫BUT TO NOT HAVE TO EXAMINE ‫WHAT IT MEANT ALL THE TIME,
‫THEN, HEY, I WAS IN.
‫YEAH. ‫I GUESS WE ARE.
‫- I'M DOWN.
‫I'LL SEE YOU LATER... ‫FRIEND.
‫[chuckles] ‫- OH.
‫HEY, I'M AROUND TO TALK LATER ‫AFTER SCHOOL.
‫- YEAH, MAYBE I'LL, UH, ‫HIT YOU UP LATER.
‫BUT IT WON'T BE TO TALK.
‫- OKAY, SO MAYBE ‫EMOTIONAL INTIMACY
‫WASN'T SOMETHING YOU COULD ‫ACHIEVE BETWEEN BIO AND GYM,
‫BUT AT LEAST HE KNEW ‫I WAS THERE FOR HIM.
‫- WELCOME TO THE FIRST MEETING ‫OF WE'RE HERE, WE'RE PEERS.
‫NOW LET'S GET MENTORING.
‫BEING THE CHICKEN SOUP ‫FOR SOMEONE ELSE'S SOUL
‫IS A DELICATE BREW,
‫BUT YOU'RE ABOUT TO LEARN ‫FROM THE MASTER CHEF.
‫I'VE MATCHED UP ‫EACH SENIOR GIRL
‫WITH A FRESHMAN ‫IN NEED OF GUIDANCE.
‫THERE WILL BE A PROGRESS REVIEW ‫AT THE END OF THE WEEK,
‫WHERE EACH FRESHMAN ‫WILL SHARE WHAT SHE LEARNED,
‫AND EACH SENIOR WILL GET ‫A COMMUNITY-SERVICE CREDIT.
‫- I LOVE YOUR MAXI DRESS!
‫- IT'S CALLED HIJAB. ‫WE WEAR IT FOR MODESTY.
‫- AW. ‫WELL, YOU SEEM NICE.
‫IT'S TOO BAD ‫YOU WON'T GET INTO HEAVEN.
‫- IT'S TOO BAD YOU WON'T GET ‫INTO JANNAH DRESSED LIKE THAT.
‫- IS THAT THE NEW THREE-LEVEL, ‫OVER-18 CLUB IN WESTWOOD?
‫- IT'S MUSLIM HEAVEN. ‫IT HAS SEVEN LEVELS.
‫- I DON'T KNOW WHY ‫YOU NEED COUNSELING, CAITLIN.
‫YOU SEEM SUPES TOGETHER.
‫- THANKS. ‫I'M GRATEFUL, NOT HATEFUL.
‫BEING A JOINER ‫IS JUST IN MY DNA.
‫- SAME. ‫DON'T HATE...
‫both: ‫PARTICIPATE.
‫- TRIPPY.
‫- I NEED LESS VIRGIN ‫AT THE BUS STOP
‫AND MORE WHORE ON THE FLOOR.
‫- BUT I'VE NEVER HAD SEX.
‫- AND I'VE NEVER BITCH-SLAPPED ‫AN OLSEN TWIN,
‫BUT THAT DOES NOT STOP ME ‫FROM DRESSING LIKE I HAVE.
‫WEAR IT TILL YOU TEAR IT.
‫- SADIE.
‫S-A-D...
‫I-E.
‫DO YOU NOT SPEAK ENGLISH? ‫MINE'S BROKEN!
‫I GOT A BROKEN ONE.
‫- SHE'S AN EXCHANGE STUDENT ‫FROM ESPANA.
‫SORRY, THAT'S WHAT WAS LEFT.
‫EARLIER, SHIRI AND ANGEL HAD ‫AN ALTERCATION IN THE HALLWAY.
‫THIS IS WHAT I CALL ‫A TEACHABLE MOMENT.
‫- "IT MAKES ME FEEL ANGRY WHEN ‫I DON'T FEEL I AM BEING HEARD."
‫- [Spanish accent] ‫"IT MAKE ME A-FEEL..."
‫- [whispering] FASTER. ‫- QUE ES "ANGRY"?
‫- OKAY, I... ‫- ENOJADO?
‫- I GOT A PARENT-TEACHER MEETING ‫OFF CAMPUS IN ABOUT AN HOUR.
‫SO WHY DON'T WE HAVE ‫YOUR MENTORS
‫SHOW YOU HOW IT'S DONE, HUH?
‫- "IT MAKES ME FEEL ANGRY"...
‫WHEN MANIC PIXIE DREAM GIRLS,
‫WHO HAVE SPENT ‫THE LAST THREE YEARS
‫GIVING HANDIES ‫IN THE SANCTUARY,
‫ALL OF A SUDDEN FIND AMBITION ‫IN TIME FOR COLLEGE APPS
‫AND MONOPOLIZE MY FREE PERIOD ‫WITH TOUCHY-FEELY BULL CACA.
‫- I WANTED TO RESPOND IN KIND ‫TO SADIE'S UNKIND RANT,
‫BUT I WANTED TO SUCCEED ‫AS A MENTOR EVEN MORE,
‫AND THAT MEANT EMBRACING ‫THE EXERCISE...
‫AND THE ENEMY.
‫IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. ‫IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.
‫- EW! ‫BAD TOUCH!
‫SERIOUSLY, I AM GOING TO PUKE.
‫- OH, HEY, ‫YOU CAN HAVE THE TABLE.
‫I GOT A WORKING LUNCH-- ‫WORKING ON MY MUSIC.
‫- OKAY, FLAG ON THE PLAYER--
‫HE'S TRYING TO SPIN THIS.
‫GIVING ME THE LUNCH TABLE,
‫HE IS TRYING TO LOOK ‫LIKE THE GOOD GUY.
‫- CAN'T YOU JUST ACCEPT ‫THAT MAYBE HE IS THE GOOD GUY?
‫I'M TELLING YOU, ‫THIS IS HOW MATURE BREAKUPS GO.
‫- WELL, IF HE'S EXPECTING ‫EX SEX FROM ME,
‫WE ARE NOT THERE...
‫YET.
‫- CAN I CRASH ‫WITH YOU BITCHES?
‫- HEY, MATTY, ‫ARE YOU NOT EATING?
‫- NOPE, NOT HUNGRY.
‫- OH, WELL, ‫IF YOU GET HUNGRY LATER,
‫I'LL NEVER FINISH THIS UNI.
‫- JAKE WON'T MIND IF YOU SPEND ‫SOME Q.T. WITH SOME CUTIES.
‫THIS LUNCH TABLE ‫IS NEUTRAL GROUND. SIT.
‫- YEAH, I DON'T WANT TO SIT,
‫AND I DON'T WANT UNI, ‫WHATEVER THAT IS.
‫WHAT I WANT TO DO IS GO ‫TO THE GYM AND LIFT WEIGHTS,
‫WHICH IS WHERE I WAS HEADED ‫BEFORE YOU GUYS STOPPED ME.
‫- JESUS, ‫SOMEONE'S ON THE ROID RAG.
‫- CUT HIM SOME SLACK. ‫HE'S GOING THROUGH A ROUGH TIME.
‫- YOU JUST HAD SEX WITH HIM.
‫WOULD IT KILL HIM TO HANG ‫FOR ONE PANINI?
‫- HE DOESN'T HAVE TO TREAT ME ‫LIKE A GIRLFRIEND.
‫WE HAVE AN UNDERSTANDING. ‫WE'RE FRIENDS, NOT A COUPLE.
‫- * I GUESS I'M OUT OF LUCK ‫BECAUSE *
‫* TOMORROW NEVER COMES
‫* TOMORROW ‫NEVER COMES *
‫- O.M. JESUS CREE! ‫HE IS TAYLOR SWIFTING ME!
‫- * WAITING AND WAITING ‫AND WAITING *
‫- * TOMORROW NEVER COMES
‫* AND I KEEP WAITING ‫AND WAITING AND WAITING ON *
‫* TOMORROW NEVER COMES
‫- FAKE JAKE!
‫YOU'RE PULLING ‫A TIMBERLAKE POST BRITNEY,
‫A TAYLOR SWIFT POST, LIKE, ‫EVERYBODY.
‫THIS WANNABE REMIX TO JAKARA ‫IS TOTALLY MISLEADING!
‫TOMORROW DOES COME WHEN TOMORROW ‫IS PROPERLY STIMULATED.
‫- THIS SONG'S NOT ABOUT YOU.
‫IT'S "TOMORROW." ‫"TOMORROW NEVER COMES."
‫IT'S ABOUT THE HOPELESSNESS ‫OF LOVE.
‫YOU DID BREAK MY HEART.
‫all: AW. ‫- OH. [scoffs]
‫- BUT THE SONG'S ‫STILL NOT ABOUT YOU.
‫- OH, CRY ME A RIVER, ‫ROSATI!
‫- NOW, THIS IS THE BEAUTY ‫OF SUBCONTRACTING MY JOB.
‫SHOULD'VE DONE IT AGES AGO.
‫- MMM. MMM.
‫[wax strip tears] ‫AAH! AAH!
‫- OKAY, ‫MAYBE IT WAS AN ODD COMBO,
‫BUT THE GROUPON ‫WAS SO CHEAP.
‫- IT'S KIND OF HARD ‫TO ENJOY A SLOW-ROASTED MEAT
‫WHEN YOU'RE HAVING MY PUBIC HAIR ‫RIPPED OUT AT THE ROOT.
‫IT'S ALSO ‫HIGHLY UNSANITARY.
‫VAL, IT GOT A "B"! ‫[scoffs]
‫- OH, I THOUGHT ‫THAT WAS FOR "BRAZILIAN."
‫- * SHE WORKS ‫AT THE LOCAL TAQUERIA *
‫* SHE ALWAYS SMILES AT ME ‫[computer chimes]
‫* WHEN I GO THERE
‫- WHAT UP, MENTOR?
‫I NEED A LITTLE PEER COUNSELING. ‫YOU GOT A MINUTE?
‫- SURE.
‫- IS IT OKAY TO HOOK UP
‫WITH THREE GUYS IN ONE NIGHT?
‫- YOU MEAN AT THE SAME TIME? ‫- OF COURSE NOT.
‫I'M NOT A SLUT. ‫[knock at door]
‫- ANGEL, ‫WILL YOU HOLD ON A SEC?
‫- IS THAT ‫MATTY MCKIBBEN?
‫SILF! ‫SENIOR I'D LIKE TO--
‫- WE'RE JUST FRIENDS. ‫[laughs]
‫MM.
‫- FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS! ‫BOO-YAH!
‫- UM, I HAVE TO GO.
‫BUT DON'T DO ANYTHING ‫I WOULDN'T DO.
‫- WHAT IS THAT, BACK DOOR?
‫- HEY. COME HERE.
‫- THIS WAS A MUCH ‫DIFFERENT MATTY FROM EARLIER.
‫CLEARLY WORKING OUT ‫HAD PUT HIM IN A BETTER MOOD.
‫I DIDN'T KNOW ‫YOU WERE COMING OVER TONIGHT.
‫- I WANTED TO SEE YOU.
‫- OR MAYBE IT HAD JUST ‫PUT HIM IN THE MOOD.
‫- UH, I HAVE ‫CHITTY CHITTY BANG BANG ON DVD.
‫I KNOW IT'S DORKY, ‫BUT, UH, IT ALWAYS CHEERS ME UP.
‫YOU WANT TO WATCH IT? ‫- YEAH.
‫CAN WE... ‫WATCH IT LAYING DOWN?
‫- MATTY SEEMED SOLELY FOCUSED
‫ON THE BENEFITS ‫OF OUR FRIENDSHIP,
‫BUT I CAN'T REALLY SAY ‫I MINDED.
‫- HEY.
‫- OH! ‫- OH!
‫HI, MATTY! ‫- HI.
‫- UH, JENNA, DO YOU HAVE ‫ANY OF THOSE PAINKILLERS LEFT
‫FROM WHEN YOU HAD ‫YOUR WISDOM TEETH OUT?
‫THAT'S THE LAST TIME ‫I GOT TO A DISCOUNT SPA.
‫THANK YOU.
‫THIS IS WORSE ‫THAN THE TIME I HAD CRABS.
‫- MOM! ‫- FROM NANA'S AFGHAN!
‫SHE GOT IT FROM A THRIFT STORE ‫IN THE VALLEY.
‫[chuckles] ‫AH!
‫EEH. ‫[door closes]
‫- DO YOU STILL WANT TO... ‫- I THINK I'M GOOD.
‫- WE CAN JUST HANG.
‫- UH, YEAH, I'M NOT REALLY ‫IN THE MOOD TO JUST HANG.
‫BUT I WILL SEE YOU TOMORROW.
‫- THERE WOULD BE NO BANG-BANG ‫THAT NIGHT,
‫AND THAT SEEMED ‫TO MAKE MATTY'S GOOD MOOD
‫ONCE AGAIN TURN CHITTY. ‫[door closes]
‫- HEY, MAN, WHAT DID THAT ‫WATER BOTTLE EVER DO TO YOU?
‫- OH. NOTHING.
‫MY, UH--MY PARENTS SUCK.
‫- WHY?
‫- JUST--SINCE THEY SPLIT UP, ‫THEY ARE EVEN WORSE THAN USUAL.
‫SO... ‫- YEAH, SPLITTING UP SUCKS.
‫I MEAN, ‫UNLESS IT'S FROM TAMARA,
‫AND THEN ‫IT'S THE BEST THING EVER.
‫- HEY, MAN, NO OFFENSE, ‫BUT DO YOU MIND
‫IF WE, UH, DON'T TALK ANYMORE?
‫- YEAH, DUDE. ‫NO, WE DON'T HAVE TO TALK.
‫WE'RE GUYS...
‫SENIOR GUYS.
‫I THINK IT'S ABOUT TIME
‫WE SHOULD START CASHING IN ‫THE THOSE CHIPS.
‫[strums acoustic ballad]
‫- ARE YOU SEEING THIS?
‫HE HAS GROUPIES--
‫EVEN MY PEER MENTEE, CAITLIN.
‫ONE OF HIS ‫"WHORECEROR'S" APPRENTICES
‫MADE HIM A FAN PAGE ‫LAST NIGHT.
‫- UM, IT SAYS YOU'RE NO LONGER ‫CONNECTED TO THIS USER.
‫- HE BLOCKED ME?
‫OH, GAME ON.
‫- WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH ‫THAT HIDEOUS THING ON YOUR HEAD?
‫- LEARNING ABOUT MUSLIM CULTURE. ‫IT'S REALLY NEAT.
‫LIKE, DO YOU KNOW MUSLIMS ‫HAVE SEVEN LEVELS OF HEAVEN?
‫WE ONLY HAVE ONE!
‫AND EACH LEVEL IS LIKE ‫A SANDALS RESORT, BUT BETTER.
‫- SHIRI, ‫FIND THE NEAREST MENTAL WARD.
‫- WHY CAN'T SHE WEAR ‫HER SCARF?
‫- HAVE I TAUGHT YOU NOTHING?
‫TAKE THIS DOWN.
‫"YOU'RE NOT BEING A GOOD FRIEND ‫WHEN YOU DON'T TELL SOMEONE
‫THEY LOOK RIDICULOUS"...
‫WHICH YOU DO.
‫YOU'RE WELCOME.
‫[snaps fingers]
‫- [strumming ballad]
‫[stops strumming]
‫[strumming continues]
‫- OKAY! LISTEN UP!
‫PRESIDENTIAL ANNOUNCEMENT--
‫THERE WILL BE NO MORE MUSIC ‫IN THE CAFETERIA.
‫IT IS DISTRACTING TO PEOPLE WHO ‫ARE ACTUALLY TRYING TO STUDY.
‫- WHAT? NO! ‫- SHE'S RIGHT.
‫THIS IS A PUBLIC PLACE,
‫WHICH IS WHY ‫I'M HAVING A PRIVATE CONCERT
‫AT MY PLACE ‫TOMORROW NIGHT.
‫SO WHO'S IN?
‫- UH, SORRY, SWEETIE.
‫THERE'S A MANDATORY ‫PEER-MENTOR MEETING
‫TOMORROW NIGHT AT JENNA'S.
‫- THERE IS? ‫- WHAT, YOU HAVE OTHER PLANS?
‫- MATTY MIGHT SHOW UP ‫UNEXPECTEDLY.
‫HE DID LAST NIGHT.
‫- JENNA, I DON'T WATCH TV ‫IN THE SUMMER.
‫KNOW WHY? ‫- NO, WHY?
‫- BECAUSE I HATE RERUNS.
‫THIS IS JUST ‫LIKE SOPHOMORE YEAR.
‫HE'S GETTING WHAT HE WANTS, ‫AND YOU'RE NOT.
‫- AND WHAT IS IT EXACTLY ‫THAT I WANT?
‫- TO BE MORE THAN MATTY'S ‫SEX-TRACURRICULAR ACTIVITY.
‫I DON'T CARE ‫HOW EMOTIONALLY INTIMATE HE IS.
‫IF HE CAN'T BE CIVIL TO YOU ‫AT LUNCH
‫OR MAKE PLANS WITH YOU ‫RATHER THAN JUST SHOWING UP
‫WHENEVER HE FEELS LIKE IT, ‫THEN...
‫YOU'RE HIS "F" BUDDY, ‫NOT HIS FRIEND.
‫- HEY, JENNA, GOT ANOTHER ‫MENTOR QUESTION FOR YOU.
‫WHEN GOING DOWN,
‫IS IT CUSTOMARY TO TAKE OUT ‫YOUR TONGUE RING?
‫[upbeat music]
‫- OKAY.
‫SO HERE'S THE FIRST STOP ‫ON THE JENNA HAMILTON
‫SCARED-STRAIGHT TOUR OF CAMPUS.
‫THIS IS WHERE I HAD ‫MANY ILL-ADVISED SECRET HOOKUPS.
‫I DIDN'T RESPECT MYSELF, ‫AND WORST OF ALL,
‫I DIDN'T DEMAND RESPECT ‫FROM GUYS.
‫- HEY, HAMILTON. ‫LOOKING GOOD. 'SUP?
‫- WOW. ‫THIS IS THE BALLS--
‫A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN ‫COME DURING SCHOOL TO GET SOME?
‫[laughs] ‫- ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
‫ALL RIGHT.
‫OKAY, AND THIS IS WHERE ‫I SPENT MANY LUNCHES ALONE
‫AFTER COMPLETELY ALIENATING ‫ALL OF MY FRIENDS.
‫- [screams]
‫- OH, HEY, BIATCHES.
‫THANK GOD ‫THERE'S AT LEAST ONE PLACE
‫WHERE WE CAN PIERCE ‫IN PEACE.
‫JUST GO GET ‫SOME ANTIBIOTIC CREAM.
‫YOU'RE GONNA NEED IT ‫FOR LOTS OF STUFF.
‫- [laughs]
‫COOL.
‫- NO, NOT COOL.
‫OKAY, LAST STOP, ‫THE PARKING LOT.
‫THIS IS WHERE LOSERS GO ‫TO CUT CLASS.
‫I USED TO COME HERE ‫AND SIT AND STARE
‫AND AVOID EVERYTHING I SHOULD ‫HAVE BEEN DEALING WITH IN LIFE.
‫- [sighs] ‫- MATTY?
‫WHAT ARE YOU DOING? ‫- HUH?
‫[sniffles] ‫NOTHING.
‫- I'LL SEE YOU LATER, OKAY?
‫- [sighs]
‫- ARE YOU HIGH?
‫- NOPE.
‫- COME ON, ‫YOUR EYES ARE ALL RED.
‫YOU'VE EITHER BEEN SMOKING ‫OR CRYING.
‫MATTY, ARE YOU OKAY?
‫IT HAD BECOME CLEAR ‫THAT MATTY WAS USING SEX
‫TO AVOID WHAT HE REALLY ‫SHOULD'VE BEEN DEALING WITH.
‫I WANTED TO RESPECT ‫HIS FEELINGS,
‫BUT I NEEDED TO FEEL ‫RESPECTED MYSELF.
‫- COME ON, ‫LET'S GET IN THE BACK.
‫- IGNORING THAT WAS ONE MISTAKE ‫I COULDN'T AFFORD TO REPEAT.
‫MATTY, I'M NOT SURE ‫THIS IS WHAT YOU REALLY NEED.
‫- HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT I NEED? ‫[sniffles]
‫- BECAUSE I KNOW ‫WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH.
‫- YOU HAVE NO CLUE ‫WHAT I AM GOING THROUGH.
‫- WELL, I'M TRYING TO. ‫I'M TRYING TO BE...
‫- TO BE WHAT? ‫- A FRIEND.
‫BUT THE WAY YOU'RE ACTING ‫IS MAKING ME FEEL
‫LESS LIKE A BUDDY ‫AND MORE LIKE A [bleep].
‫- I'M SORRY ‫YOU SEE IT THAT WAY, JENNA.
‫I GUESS I'VE JUST BEEN ‫A LITTLE BUSY
‫DEALING WITH THE FACT THAT ‫MY ENTIRE LIFE HAS BEEN A LIE.
‫- AND I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT-- ‫- THAT IS JUST IT, JENNA.
‫I DON'T WANT YOUR SYMPATHY.
‫I JUST WANT TO BE LEFT ‫THE HELL ALONE!
‫NO, I DIDN'T MEAN IT ‫LIKE THAT.
‫- SO YOU JUST WANT TO...
‫- FOR RIGHT NOW, YEAH.
‫SO IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE THAT, ‫THEN JUST TELL ME.
‫- I CAN'T HANDLE IT.
‫- * I WISH, I WISH I...
‫* COULD SHUT IT OFF
‫- YOU SEE, THAT'S WHY
‫IT'S VERY IMPORTANT ‫TO HAVE GOALS.
‫- IT IS 8:15.
‫CAITLIN IS OFFICIALLY ‫BITCH-DITCHING.
‫I KNOW THAT SLUT-SKANK ‫WENT TO JAKE'S.
‫- YOU MEAN ‫LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE?
‫WHY AM I HERE ‫IF NO ONE ELSE HAS TO BE?
‫- SHE'S PROBABLY GIVING ‫HIS PRIVATES A CONCERT
‫AS WE SPEAK,
‫BUT I WILL NEVER KNOW ‫BECAUSE HE BLOCKED ME!
‫- YOU'RE NOT DATING HIM ‫ANYMORE.
‫ANGEL, EARMUFFS. ‫- [sighs]
‫- I AM NOT DATING HIM,
‫BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN ‫I WANT ANYBODY ELSE DATING HIM!
‫IT'S A CLASSIC BIZNATCH-22.
‫I WANT NOTHING TO DO ‫WITH HIM,
‫BUT I HAVE TO KNOW EVERYTHING ‫THAT'S GOING ON WITH HIM.
‫[distant laughter]
‫- I'M SIGNING IT "FIRE CROTCH." ‫[laughter]
‫- YEAH! ‫- WHOA, WHOA! MOM!
‫[all sigh]
‫- WE'RE WRITING A REVENGE REVIEW ‫OF THE "SPASTAURANT"
‫THAT GAVE US ‫COOCHIE POISONING.
‫- WHAT DO YOU THINK?
‫- "I'VE SEEN CLEANER FLOORS ‫IN A BANGKOK BATHHOUSE."
‫- THAT WAS MINE. ‫- SWISH!
‫- OKAY, ARE YOU SURE ‫YOU WANT TO MAKE ENEMIES
‫WITH PEOPLE WHO SPEAR MEAT ‫ONTO SHARP STICKS?
‫- IT'S FINE. ‫WE MADE UP A FAKE NAME.
‫- THAT'S SMART! ‫- MM-HMM.
‫- WELL, YOU BITCHES ‫REALLY KNOW HOW TO THROW DOWN.
‫IT'S BEEN A REAL EYE-OPENER. ‫- REALLY?
‫- REALLY! I'M TOTALLY READY FOR ‫THE PROGRESS MEETING TOMORROW.
‫- * LOOSEN UP
‫[computer chiming]
‫* LOOSEN UP
‫*
‫- "HAVE WE MET?"
‫- "NO, BUT I LISTENED ‫TO SOME MUSIC ON YOUR FAN PAGE."
‫[computer chimes]
‫"YOU ARE CUTE."
‫*
‫- WELCOME, EVERYONE, ‫TO WE'RE HERE, WE'RE PEERS.
‫LET'S FIND OUT ‫IF WE'VE LEARNED ANYTHING, HMM?
‫SHIRI?
‫- I HAVE LEARNED ‫THAT IT DOES NOT PAY TO BE SHY.
‫YOU GOT TO TELL PEOPLE ‫WHAT THEY NEED TO HEAR.
‫LIKE YOU...
‫YOU NEED A POP OF COLOR. ‫YOU LOOK LIKE A VAMPIRE.
‫POLKA DOTS ARE FOR CLOWNS ‫IN THE CIRCUS.
‫AND FANNY PACKS ARE SOLELY MEANT ‫FOR THE ELDERLY AND DISABLED.
‫[laughs]
‫DE NADA.
‫[light applause]
‫- GRACIAS, SHIRI.
‫[door closes]
‫- [whispering] ‫HI, BABY. HEY, ANGEL.
‫[sighs]
‫SORRY I'M LATE, SWEETIE. ‫I WOULDN'T MISS YOUR BIG MOMENT.
‫- I GOT TO BE HONEST.
‫I DIDN'T THINK ‫I HAD ANYTHING TO LEARN
‫FROM THIS STUPID PROGRAM.
‫ALL MY LIFE I NEVER REALLY KNEW ‫WHAT I WANTED TO BE,
‫AND I DIDN'T CARE.
‫BUT NOW I HAVE MET SOMEONE ‫WHO'S SO FREAKIN' COOL
‫THAT I WANT TO BE ‫JUST LIKE HER.
‫AND THANKS TO MY MENTOR, JENNA, ‫I HAVE SET A GOAL.
‫I WANT TO BE ‫16 AND PREGNANT!
‫[hard rock music]
‫AND I HAVE JENNA ‫AND HER BADASS MOM TO THANK
‫FOR INSPIRING ME.
‫[sighs]
‫- I FEEL LIKE A FAILURE ‫AS A MENTOR.
‫- YEAH, BUT YOUR MOM ‫IS THE COOLEST.
‫SO YOU CAN'T REALLY BLAME ANGEL ‫FOR WANTING TO BE LIKE HER.
‫AND DON'T BE SO HARD ‫ON MY GIRL.
‫DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE ‫FIRST BROUGHT TO MY OFFICE?
‫YOU TOTALLY PUSHED ME AWAY.
‫BUT I STAYED ON YOU ‫BECAUSE I CARED,
‫AND I KNEW THAT ‫YOUR CRAPPY, CRAPPY ATTITUDE
‫HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH ME.
‫DON'T GIVE UP...
‫EXCEPT ON THIS PROGRAM.
‫AFTER HE HEARS ‫ABOUT ANGEL'S SPEECH,
‫PRINCIPAL COX WILL PROBABLY ‫PULL THE PLUG.
‫BUT... [inhales sharply] ‫DON'T GIVE UP, IN GENERAL.
‫- I WON'T.
‫- YEAH, PROBABLY SHOULDN'T ‫GET TOO CLOSE
‫UNTIL I GET RID OF THIS RASH.
‫- VAL WAS RIGHT-- ‫I NEEDED TO STAY ON MATTY,
‫BECAUSE THE MORE ‫HE PUSHED ME AWAY...
‫[doorbell rings] ‫THE MORE HE REALLY NEEDED ME.
‫AND I WAS GOING TO BE THERE ‫FOR HIM.
‫- OH, HEY, JENNA.
‫- UH, IS MATTY HERE?
‫- YEAH, BUT I'M NOT SURE ‫HE'S UP FOR COMPANY.
‫YOU WERE RIGHT--HE'S REALLY NOT ‫IN A GREAT PLACE RIGHT NOW.
‫I THINK HE JUST NEEDS SOMEONE ‫TO TALK TO.
‫- UNFORTUNATELY, IT LOOKED LIKE ‫EVA HAD GOTTEN THERE FIRST.
‫- I'LL TELL HIM ‫YOU STOPPED BY.
‫[door closes]
‫- * WHEN THE SKY FELL DOWN
‫- NEXT ON AWKWARD... ‫[whistle blows]
‫- IF THE SENIORS ‫DON'T WIN SPIRIT WEEK,
‫I'LL JUMP OVERBOARD.
‫- FOR THE FIRST TIME ‫IN RECORDED HISTORY,
‫THE SENIORS MIGHT LOSE ‫SPIRIT WEEK.
‫- [bleep] JUST GOT REAL.
‫- SO MATTY HAD COMPLETELY ‫REPLACED ME IN HIS LIFE--
‫EVA FOR CONVERSATION,
‫AND MACKENZIE ‫WAS CLEARLY AVAILABLE
‫FOR WHATEVER ELSE HE NEEDED.
‫- IT MUST SUCK TO BE OLD ‫AND UNDESIRABLE.